


Naked 2: My Other

by chochowilliams



Series: One Heart [2]
Category: Sono Yubi Dake ga Shitte Iru | Only the Ring Finger Knows
Genre: Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Self-Mutilation, Language, M/M, Male Slash, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-25
Updated: 2012-11-01
Packaged: 2017-11-17 01:02:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chochowilliams/pseuds/chochowilliams





	1. Consequences of the Endless Affliction

**Naked 2: My Other**  
 **Sequel to:** “Naked”  
 **Written by:** chochowilliams  
 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Only the Ring Finger Knows or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.  
 **Summary:** Yuichi Kazuki and Wataru Fujii set out to prove to that love conquers all.  
 **Warning:** M/M, OOC, hentai, implied self-mutilation, romance, hurt/comfort, drama, language  
 **Pairings:** Yuichi Kazuki/Wataru Fujii, one-sided Masanobu Asaka/Wataru Fujii  
 **Inserts:** “The Torso”, Robert Duncan, recap from “Naked”  
 **A/N:** “Naked” was an extended rewritten version of the original story (originally entitled, “Affliction”, but has since been changed to “Endlessly”). “Naked 2” is the sequel. The title comes from a line in the poem “The Torso” by Robert Duncan: “For my Other is not a woman but a man”.

 

* * *

 

What do you want of me?

I do not know, I said. I have fallen in love. He  
has brought me into heights and depths my heart  
would fear without him. His look

Pierces my side - fire eyes -

-“The Torso”, Robert Duncan

 

* * *

 

**Last Time**

Lounging on his bed with one arm folded behind his head, Masanobu read and reread the letter Wataru had left for him.

“-I know I should have waited to tell you this in person rather than in a letter, but…

“I will tell you the same thing Kazuki told Mai, ‘My lover is…someone people would find difficult to accept. But, that person is the only one in my eyes. Even if no one understands, as long as that person is there I can go on living. That’s how strong my love is. To me, it’s someone dear, important, and irreplaceable…I’ll say it forever. No matter how much you feel for me, I can’t return it.’ But I would like for us to remain friends if you will have me. If not, that I guess that this is goodbye…”

Friends?

Masanobu dropped his arm. The grip loosened. The letter fluttered from his hand and sailed across the room to land besides the trash can underneath his desk.

“Then I guess this is goodbye,” he whispered.

 

* * *

 

**Chapter 1: Consequences of the Endless Affliction**

**Present - Yuichi Kazuki’s Apartment - Japan**

As soon as he pushed open his apartment door, the sounds of the shower greeted him.

“Wataru,” Yuichi whispered with a smile. Something akin to nostalgia swept though him.

Stepping through the door and into his apartment, Yuichi Kazuki wheeled his luggage inside behind him and set it against the wall. He closed the door and made sure it was locked. Pocketing his keys, he slipped out of his coat and hung it up in the closet besides Wataru’s. Yuichi ran his hands over the tweed navy blue coat. He’d bought it for Wataru for his birthday after Wataru complained about needing a new winter coat since the washer ate his old one.

“Next time, try reading the tag,” he told his younger lover.

“I did,” Wataru protested.

“Obviously not since it says ‘dry clean only’.”

Wataru was cute when he looked sheepish.

Propping himself against the doorjamb, Yuichi toed his sneakers off and slipped into his house slippers. After placing his sneakers neatly besides Wataru’s clunky high-tops, he closed the closet door firmly before making his way purposefully across the studio apartment towards the dressing room. He quietly slipped inside and shut the door softly behind him. Crossing towards the bathroom, he halted before the door. The sounds of the shower had grown louder. He laid his hand against the wooden pocket door then dropped his head forward until his forehead was resting against the door.

“Wataru,” he whispered.

They had a lot to talk about. A lot happened in such a short amount of time. Including the mix-up with their rings. A surge of anger washed through him. His fingers clawed at the wood as he fisted his hand. Shohei better hope he did not see him anytime soon, because Yuichi swore that he would kill him! His older brother had meddled one time too many.

 

* * *

 

**Same Time – Mizuho’s Residence - United States**

The phone continued to ring. It echoed shrilly out of the butler’s pantry and into the kitchen, through the formal dining room and down the hall towards the drawing room, the men’s parlor that had been turned into a study, the living room, through the powder room and the conservatory, downstairs into the finished basement where the TV and laundry rooms were located, then up the French oak spiral staircase to the bedrooms, bouncing off the granite tiles of the bathrooms. It slipped under the closed door of the guest room now empty and void of life.

 

* * *

 

**St. Philomena Hospital - United States**

Mizuho pulled the phone away from her ear. The endless ringing continued.

“What’s the matter dear? No answer?” asked the female voice in Japanese.

Confused and a little worried, Mizuho shook her head. She handed the receiver to her mother, who took it from her.

Mizuho wondered if everything was alright. Yuichi had not come to the hospital today at all. He said he would because she was finally being released and he promised they would go home together.

Her surgery went as planned. For all intents and purposes, it was a successful operation, but apparently, the doctors were not satisfied with the progress she was making. In other words, they were dissatisfied with her lack of progress and decided to keep her at the hospital for longer than they expected in order to run a few tests and for observational purposes. Eventually, they came to a consensus and decided to increase the dosage of her medication.

Apparently, she was making enough significant progress that she was finally being released. She could not wait to get back home.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, dear,” her mother cajoled, snapping her daughter out of her thoughts.

“But mother,” Mizuho protested.

“Yuichi is probably just getting the house ready for your return. That’s all.”

Mizuho mulled that over and decided that she liked the sound of that. A warm feeling enveloped her. That had to be it. She knew that Yuichi cared about her. He had to. Otherwise, why would he fly halfway around the world just to be by her side while she underwent surgery? Breaking up with him all those years ago was the biggest mistake of her life and she vowed to make up for it. She nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“A surprise welcome home party,” her mother sighed. “He sure is a good catch, Mizuho.”

Mizuho smiled. Yes. Yes, he was.

 

* * *

 

 

**Yuichi Kazuki’s Apartment - Japan**

Lowering the toilet seat and then the lid, Yuichi sat down. He slipped off his slippers and then his socks. He stuffed his socks into the toes of his slippers and stood up.

Again facing the wooden pocket door that separated the dressing room from the bathroom, Yuichi reached for the door and slid it open as quietly as he could. He stepped into the steam-filled bathroom and shut the door behind him.

Wow. Did it feel like a sauna in here!

Turning around, he caught sight of Wataru standing with his back to him under the shower not more than five feet from him. His heart swelled at the sight of his naked, wet lover. Yuichi let his gaze roam freely over Wataru’s backside--the round globes of his ass, the firm thighs, muscled calves, the peek of testes nestled amongst a nest of coarse black hair--and then back up to his narrow waist, the long, lean line of his back slightly hunched over, raven black hair that tickled his wide set shoulders. What Wataru called his “short pudgy fingers” that were splayed against the cold wet tiles in front of him.

This was it. This was what he has been missing. This was where he should have been the last three weeks. This was home.

 

* * *

 

Pushing away from the wall, Wataru reached for the water dials and twisted them. The water raining down on him slowed and then stopped all together. He let his gaze roam to his hands that gripped the chrome dials. His chest ached as he stared down at his bare ring finger. The ring he exchanged with Yuichi a year and a half ago caught his attention as it glittered in the light shining down from the ceiling. Straightening, Wataru snatched the ring off the lip that ran along the wall.

As it sat cupped in the palm of his hand, Wataru stared down at it. He could not help but think that their paired rings had brought nothing but bad luck to them since they exchanged them. Though, he would never trade them for all the money in the world for it was these rings that brought Yuichi and him together in the first place.

His ears perked as a noise sounded behind him.

Before he could turn around, a voice he knew all too well spoke up. “Isn’t that my ring, Wataru?”

Wataru went still. Obsidian eyes slowly grew wide. “Ka…Ka…zu…ki,” he whispered. The pale blue subway tiled wall before him blurred behind a veil of tears. An ache tightened his chest. His throat closed around a sudden sob.

Amused, Yuichi silently crept forward.

Wataru’s heart started racing as he heard the evenly space splashing sounds coming towards him, closer and closer. He could feel himself start to shake--whether from fear or something else all together, he was not sure.

Yuichi halted a hair’s breadth away from Wataru.

He was so close; Wataru could feel the heat radiating against his back. He could feel Yuichi’s hot breath against his neck. He shuddered.

Yuichi reached around Wataru and plucked the ring from his hand. Deliberately, he let his arm brush Wataru’s arm and let his fingers linger a second too long. He smiled when he felt Wataru shiver in reaction. Stepping back, he held his left hand up before him and slipped the ring onto his ring finger right where it belonged. He splayed his fingers and peered at the back of Wataru’s head. Reaching out, he fingered a strand of damp raven hair off Wataru’s shoulder. The ring twinkled in the light.

His gaze shifted. The smile on his face froze. “Wataru,” Yuichi spoke slowly. “What happened to your wrist?”

Wataru went still and this time for a completely different reason.

Yuichi’s eyes narrowed. “You better answer me Wataru Fujii. What--did--you--do?” His voice dropped dangerously with each word.

What could Wataru say? There was nothing he could say that would not make Yuichi angry with him. He could always say it was an accident--that while washing dishes, he cut himself on a shattered wine glass. It happened to Karin when she was in middle school, but Wataru knew he could never lie to Yuichi. If Yuichi ever found out he was lied to, he would never trust Wataru again and Wataru would not be able to stand that. For without trust, what kind of relationship would they have?

…But, he couldn’t tell Yuichi the truth either. He couldn’t tell him that in a moment of weakness, he’d…

He did not want to see the disgust on Yuichi’s face--the pity, the sorrow, the anger, but he could not not answer him. If Yuichi told him to do something, then he had no other option than to obey.

A firm grip appeared on his shoulder.

“Don’t you ignore me, Wataru Fujii,” Yuichi commanded harshly. “Answer me. What--did--you--do?” For with each moment that passed and Wataru remained silent, a sickening feeling grew within Yuichi. He did not want to believe that Wataru would do something so stupid, but the proof was there in front of him. What angered Yuichi the most was not that Wataru would do something that was so out of character, but that if he would never have gone to the States to be with Mizuho during her surgery, Wataru and he would not be in the position they were currently in.

Unable to say anything, for he was unsure what to say, Wataru merely shook his head. He did not want to see or be seen by Yuichi. He was so ashamed at showing such weakness in front of the man he loved more than life itself.

Yuichi did not like to be ignored. Growling, Yuichi’s hand snapped forward and latched into Wataru’s wrist. He spun Wataru around forcibly.

“Ow,” Wataru cried. “Kazuki! You’re hurting me!”

“Shut up,” Yuichi commanded with a bark.

Wataru cowered under the harsh tone.

Yuichi was in a state of shock. Unable to believe what was right before his eyes, Yuichi lightly traced the multitude of scars that decorated his beloved’s pale wrist. There had to be at least half a dozen of them, but it was hard to tell. At least two-inch long scabs, they created a checkerboard pattern, interlocking and intertwining, which made it impossible to tell where one ended and another began.

“Wataru…why?”

Yuichi had never known anyone personally--that he was aware of--that cut themselves, at least deliberately. It was featured prominently in a variety of television shows and movies and he read about it in books so he knew all about the disorder, about how cutting was said to release endorphins or something that calmed a person down. But never had he seen it in real life. He just could not fathom why someone would do something like this. How could people see no other alternative than to mutilate their bodies like this? It baffled him to no end.

Tears prickled Wataru’s eyes.

The only answer he could give, for it was the only answer he had, was a shake of his head.

The fact of the matter was, he had been so overwhelmed. A thousand different emotions had been born at once within him.

His whole world had come crashing down around him in an instant. Everything he used to believe in had been taken from him. At the time, he believed that he had been dumped, exchanged for some woman halfway around the world. Was he not good enough? Was he too fat? Too ugly? Too short? Was he not worthy enough of Yuichi’s affection? Was he good enough for nothing more than a brief fling before his lover returned home to his lovely wife and beautiful children?

“Why the hell would you do something so stupid?” Yuichi exploded.

Wataru winced as Yuichi grip on him tightened.

“Why?” Yuichi’s tight, angry voice descended into sobs.

A tear slipped down Wataru’s cheek as he pried open an eye cautiously. His dark eyes went wide at the sight they beheld. “Wha-? Ka-Kazuki?!” Yuichi was crying! He never saw him cry before. Never. Wataru was unsure what to do. He had never been in this position. Usually it was the other way around. Wataru did not like to admit it, but he shed many a tear in front of Yuichi in the past, but Yuichi had always been there to comfort him. This was new ground.

A startled gasp escaped into the confines of the bathroom. Neither was sure from whom it came.

Wataru lifted a hand slowly to his face. He touched his cheek tentatively and winced. A renewal of tears prickled his eyes.

Yuichi lifted his hand up and stared at it in a horrified stupor. It was red and throbbing. He could belief he just did that!

Tears flowed freely down Wataru’s face. Yuichi…just hit him! Stunned, Wataru turned to stare wide-eyed at Yuichi.

“Wataru…I-”

With a sob, Wataru threw himself at Yuichi, who staggered backwards beneath the impact. Wataru hugged his arms tightly around Yuichi and burying his face in Yuichi’s shirt, sobbed quietly. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry,” he cried over and over again. “I’m sorry.”

Yuichi could feel Wataru’s tears soaking through his shirt, but didn’t much care. Nor did he care that the hem of his pants were damp from the remnants of Wataru’s shower. He just buried his face in Wataru’s hair and held the boy as he cried. The only thing that mattered was having Wataru in his arms again.

 

**...To Be Continued…**

 

**Next:** Chapter 2: The Cure for the Endless Affliction

 


	2. The Cure for the Endless Affliction

**Chapter 2: The Cure for the Endless Affliction**

**Yuichi Kazuki Residence - Japan**

Squirming, Wataru once again protested as the older boy carried him--wet and naked--out of the bathroom, through the dressing room and into the studio apartment itself. “Kazuki!”

“Hush,” was the only thing Yuichi said.

Wataru fumed at being treated as if he was some sort of helpless heroine, a princess locked away by her evil stepmother awaiting her prince to rescue her. Yuichi knew it too, but of course, he never did listen. The older boy loved taking care of him, even more so because it seemed to irritate Wataru so much. Damn him! “Kazuki put me down! C’mon! It’s embarrassing,” he pleaded. He flinched as he heard the whiny sound of his voice.

“What’s to be embarrassed about?” Yuichi asked as he took the dozen steps to the queen-sized bed in his studio apartment.

Uncomfortable to the nth degree, Wataru continued squirming, hoping Yuichi would grow fed up and drop him.

“Stop that,” Yuichi ordered as he stopped by the foot of the bed.

Wataru gave a startled yelp as Yuichi slapped his bare bottom. He flung a glare at his boyfriend.

Yuichi pretended innocence.

A gasp echoed through the still apartment as Wataru suddenly found himself airborne. With his heart beating rapidly from within the confines of his throat, he bounced lightly on the mattress before tumbling backwards. He ignored the chuckling coming from above him. Pushing himself up on his elbows, he gave a start when he found Yuichi’s face suddenly mere inches from his own. His face went up in flames. His heart, which had been starting to slow down, sped back up, but this time for a completely different reason. It was not fair. The reprimand he was about to force upon his boyfriend of one and a half years died an instantaneous death on his lips, the thoughts not even half-formed. Damn Yuichi and that pretty face of his. It always amazed and baffled Wataru at how much Yuichi seemed to affect him, even now nearly two years into their relationship. “What? Kazuki? What are you doing all of a sudden?”

“What do you mean ‘what’?” Yuichi shot back lightly, cocking his head to the side and grinning that heart-stopping smile of his.

Wataru fumbled with vocalizing the words that suddenly felt like jumbo-sized boulders in his mouth. “I, I, uhm, I mean, that is…” He felt like an idiot and was sure Yuichi would say as much.

Yuichi pulled back and sat down on the bed besides Wataru who pushed himself up into a sitting position with a grateful sigh.

Yuichi’s affect on him was so great; it was as if he was in a perpetual state of drowning.

Now that he could form a coherent thought again, Wataru wished he could not. There was a sudden tightness in his chest that lodged a sob in his throat. He loved Yuichi and would always love him, but he did not want to be here right now. He wished oblivion would open up and swallow him whole. Bringing his knees to his chest, he wrapped his arms tightly around his legs and rested his chin on his knees, feeling strangely self-conscious in his birthday suit in front of Yuichi. It was stupid. He knew it. Yuichi had seen him naked countless times before. His discomfort stemmed not from the problem that he was as naked as the day he was born, but from the problems that were attributed with that nakedness. His sins were on display. They were bared for Yuichi to see. He did not want Yuichi to see him, not like this. Guilt formed the hot sting of tears in his eyes. The studio apartment blurred and doubled behind the thick veil.

Yuichi stared at Wataru’s hunched form out of the corner of his eye and sighed heavily. Drawing a leg up, he propped his head in his hand and rested his elbow on his knee. Folding his other leg under his raised one, he rubbed slow, lazy circles on Wataru’s damp back with his free hand. He was not sure if he was trying to soothe himself or his boyfriend. “Wataru,” he began.

“I’m sorry,” Wataru whispered. His voice was thick with tears. He sniffled.

Typical Wataru, Yuichi thought with a scoff. “What are you apologizing for?”

Wataru shook his head. He wasn’t even sure why himself. For making Yuichi worry unnecessarily about him? For being a lousy partner? For being such a disappointment? It always seemed he was messing things up somehow. How Yuichi could possibly love someone like him was beyond him. He was a pathetic, sorry excuse of a man.

Yuichi reached out and ruffled Wataru’s hair.

Wataru scowled over his shoulder. He fingered his damp chestnut locks back into place.

Yuichi chuckled, then sighed. He picked at a loose thread on the bedspread. A frown marred his features as he slipped deep into thought. “I love you, you know.”

Startled, Wataru blinked.

Raising his head, Yuichi snorted. He thought Wataru looked ridiculous with his hands on his head and with that idiotic expression on his face. He chuckled lightly.

A rosy tiny frosted Wataru’s cheeks. He could not seem to help it. Yuichi had that affect on him. He always had.

“It shouldn’t come as such a surprise.”

“I know,” Wataru mumbled.

Unfolding himself, Yuichi slid closer to Wataru until their body heat mingled. He tucked a lock of hair behind Wataru’s ear. “Then…?”

Wataru shook his head. A tear slipped free of its confines and slid slowly down his cheek before he was able to scrub it away.

Wataru did not have to say anything for Yuichi to understand what was going through that empty head of his. “You’re an idiot,” he announced matter-of-factly.

The heaviness of Wataru’s depression intensified. He moved his arms from their death grip around his legs and folded them across his middle and curled into a tight ball of misery.

Yuichi leaned forward and whispered in Wataru’s ear, “And I love you Wataru Fujii.”

“But-!” Wataru started to protest, but Yuichi’s finger against his lips stopped him.

Yuichi brushed away a tear with his thumb and felt his heart ache at the melancholy clearly displayed on his beloved’s face. “We certainly screwed things up this time, huh?”

“Kazuki…”

Yuichi shook his head. Cupping Wataru’s cheek, he smiled.

Wataru tipped his head into the warmth of Yuichi’s touch. It felt scorching against the clamminess of his skin.

The smile slipped and a serious mask took its place. “I told you Wataru. The only one who can make you smile, make you angry, make you cry, is me (1). Right? I love you. Don’t you ever forget that,” Yuichi ordered.

A sob escaped through parted lips. Wataru smiled through a torrent of tears that spilled down his face. Sniffling, he nodded.

“Never doubt us. Never doubt me or my feelings for you. Never doubt my commitment to us. Got it?”

Wataru nodded again. “I love you, too, Kazuki.”

The soft smile returned, but with it a hint of slyness.

Wataru’s heart jolted and started racing in anticipation. “Ka-Kazuki,” he whispered breathlessly as Yuichi lowered his head toward him.

When their lips were but a hairsbreadth away, Yuichi said softly, “I don’t care what you do, what you may say, as long as I am here.” He laid his hand against Wataru’s chest. He could feel Wataru’s heart beating rapidly against his hand and smiled smugly at the knowledge that he was the reason why, him, not Masanobu Asaka, not Miho Ookusa, not Wataru’s ex-girlfriend--what was her name? Nano?--him, the son of a dentist. “And here.” This time he poked a finger at Wataru’s forehead.

Wataru smacked the hand aside with a mock scowl.

Yuichi chuckled lightly. “And here.”

Large, dark eyes locked with his beloved’s smoldering twin orbs and grasping the finger that rested lightly against his lips, Wataru pressed a chaste, openmouthed kiss against the fingertip that was slightly roughened and calloused from work with the Renovation Research Society. A haughty smile crossed his lips when he heard Yuichi catch his breath. But before he could revel in his glory, he suddenly found himself flat on his back. His hands were pinned together above his head and Yuichi was kneeling over him from between his splayed legs. His flushed hotly at the compromising position. “Ka-Kazuki,” he whispered nervously over a heart that was racing. He was sure it would explode or give out from the strain and overexertion Yuichi placed it under.

Being careful to keep their bodies from touching any more than they already were, Yuichi leaned over Wataru and whispered, “I love you,” in his ear.

Wataru caught his breath as his heart leapt.

When Yuichi captured his lips, Wataru was lost.

 

* * *

 

It had only been a couple of weeks, but it felt like a lifetime had passed since he last tasted Yuichi on his lips, smelled the mixture of sweat, paint, sawdust and fried foods that clung to Yuichi like cologne, felt the heaviness pressed down upon him, felt the pleasurable ache between his legs and the large rough hands skimming over him, touching, seeking, finding places on his body even Wataru never knew existed, felt the hot breath caressing his skin and heard their mingled exclamations of ecstasy echoing out into the night. He was being driven to the edge of insanity and his chauffer was Yuichi Kazuki.

“…Nn…!”

The sweet melody of Wataru’s voice called out again and again.

“Ugh…!”

He stuttered out Yuichi’s name, entangled his fingers into the blond locks tickling his abdomen. He arched off the bed as his obsidian eyes, glazed over in a passion only two people who shared one soul, one heart, one body can know, rolled back. His mouth hung open as soundless words filled the room.

This was it! This was what nobody else could ever do to him. This was what he could never give to anyone else, but Yuichi.

“Aah…! Aah…!”

He cried out incoherently as waves of pleasure crashed over him again and again.

Was a storm brewing off into the distance or had night fallen already? Wataru found he could not tell as the apartment was thrown deeper into twilight. As he thrashed wildly beneath the delicious weight of his partner who continued to play and tease him, neither did he seem to care one way or another.

“Wataru.”

Wataru shuddered at the sound of his name on his lover’s lips. “Aah…! Ugh…! God,” he chanted as he unconsciously pushed against the pressure that traveled up his spine.

“I love you, Wataru,” Yuichi murmured, his voice thick with need.

Wataru tightened his grip on Yuichi’s sweat slickened shoulders and rose up to meet the loving ministrations. “Nn…! Nn…!”

It was a dance as old as time. A ceremonial dance. A rite only a privileged few had the honor of being part of. As Wataru was rocked, as the sweat pooled around their entwined bodies, as their gasps and moans and erotic cries rose and fell around them, as the heat and friction increased, as the pressure built, Wataru found himself crying. Yuichi loved him despite everything. Here he was filling Wataru with his essence. No matter what his sins were, Yuichi forgave him time and again. How did he get to be so lucky?

“Y-yeah,” Wataru stuttered through his fever. “I love you too…! Ugh…!”

He tightened his hold on Yuichi and refused to let go even when they both collapsed from exhaustion into a sweaty mass and their voices had gone hoarse.

 

* * *

 

**The Next Morning**

When awareness finally returned, so did the reality of what the two of them did…all night. Neither had held back. Never before had Yuichi and he been so…carefree. Inhibitions were thrown to the wind. Wataru could vaguely recollect some hammering on the wall above their heads that had nothing to do with their frenzied lovemaking as well as irritated raised voices that belonged to neither of them. The realization that they may have been too--enthusiastic sent his face aflame in embarrassment. The knowledge that everybody in the building knew what had transpired between Yuichi and him last night was almost too much to bear. Dear God! How could he possibly show his face again? He slapped his hands over his face and groaned.

Sighing, Wataru dropped his arms. He stared up at the ceiling and waited for the frantic beating of his heart to return to normal and for his embarrassment to die. It was not working. Every time he thought it was, Yuichi’s face would pop into his mind and he would have to repeat the process all over again. Maybe he should just resign himself? It’s been nearly two years and the fire was only growing and burning hotter with each passing day. If they could only manage to keep the firefighters away, who knows how long this fire could keep burning--if he had his way, possibly forever. The thought of reaching eternity with Yuichi sent his heart into a dizzying flutter.

Wataru swept his arm out in an attempt to reach Yuichi, but his hand hit something else instead. His brows went down in confusion. Curious, he sat up, or started to.

He halted in mid-motions as the most intense pain he has ever experienced swept through him. It pierced up his spine and throbbed wickedly from between his legs. It nearly brought tears to his eyes. He had never been in this much agony before, not even after the first time he was with Yuichi. He could just picture the smug smile on Yuichi’s face. It had Wataru sneering. Why Yuichi loved to do this to him, why it amused Yuichi to rile him up like this was beyond him. But then again, maybe he allowed Yuichi to do it? Pursing his lips, he slowly pushed himself up. He gritted his teeth against the waves of pain that flared through him and squeezed his eyes shut. He really was going to murder Yuichi for this. He took slow deep breaths and waited as the pain subsided.

Once the pain had dulled, at least momentarily, he reached out and grabbed what turned out to a black velvet jewelry box. Once again, he drew his brows in confusion. What was this? And where was Yuichi? “Kazuki?” he called.

“…Minute,” came the muffled voice from the bathroom.

Wataru turned over the small case in his hands. It sort of reminded him of his mother’s jewelry box in which she kept her old wedding ring-

He caught his breath. Obsidian eyes grew wide and his heart skipped a beat.

Chuckling, he shook the notion away before it was fully formed.

After a quick glance at the closed bathroom door, he pried open the lid. He had an eerie sense of déjà vu as his breath hitched. His heart thudded in his chest.

“Oh, my God,” he whispered, misty eyed. With trembling hands, Wataru pulled out a wide silver band. It was a beautiful unisex design that had Touko’s name written all over it. “Oh, my God.”

Wataru looked closer at the ring and noticed that the center of the ring looked oddly familiar. And that was when he realized why. It was his ring. The one he exchanged with Yuichi all those many, many months ago. The one Masanobu took in order to blackmail him with. He recognized it immediately. It was nestled snuggly within a ditch around the middle of the band. But how? What was going on?

“It may just look better on me.”

Startled, Wataru’s head snapped up and around. He hissed through gritted teeth and moaned as spasm jolted through him at the unexpected movement. He blatantly ignored the light chuckle.

Once the pain receded, though he could feel it pacing impatiently on the sidelines, he glanced at Yuichi who stood showered and dressed and looking refreshed in the door leading into the dressing room. He was also holding up his left hand besides his face.

“Kazuki.” His mind was overwhelmed. He had no idea what was going on.

“What d’you think?” Yuichi pushed out of the doorway and strolled across the room towards the bed. “Hm, Wataru?”

When Yuichi was standing at the foot of the bed, Wataru noticed that their rings matched. “Kazuki?” he spoke up cautiously.

“Ya know, Wataru,” Yuichi said as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He turned thoughtful. “People in our position should act more familiarly toward each other. Don’t you think?”

With a blank expression on his face, Wataru stared across the bed at Yuichi. “What?” he asked in a deadpanned voice.

Yuichi stared at Wataru slyly out of the corner of his eye and tried unsuccessfully to hold back the smug expression. “Don’t you think it’d be more appropriate if you were to call me ‘Yuichi’?”

Wataru blinked. Why was Yuichi pushing this? What did it matter what he--called…him? With a gasp, his eyes went wide. He glanced from the ring and then up at Yuichi. His one-year senior boyfriend blurred behind a veil of tears. “Kazuki?” Wataru whispered. Was he asking what Wataru thought he was asking or was he just reading more into it than was actually there? God, he hoped not. He really really hoped not.

The bed shifted and wobbled. “That’s ‘Yuichi’, Wataru,” Yuichi corrected.

Wataru shuddered as Yuichi’s breath caressed his cheek.

“I love you.”

Gulping, Wataru turned his head and met Yuichi’s gaze. He ran his tongue over dry lips.

Without taking his gaze from his beloved’s face, Yuichi took the ring out of Wataru’s fingers and holding his trembling hand within his, slid the silver band onto the left ring finger. It was a perfect fit.

Wataru caught his breath when Yuichi pressed his lips against the back of his hand.

“I love you, Wataru and don’t you ever forget that.”

With tears in his eyes, Wataru shook his head. Never. Never ever.

Smiling, Yuichi cupped Wataru’s face. His thumb brushed away the droplets that slid down his cheeks as a serious expression skated over his face. “I’m sorry.”

The statement threw Wataru for a loop. “What?” he asked in confusion.

“For Mizuho. For everything.”

“Ka-Yuichi,” Wataru corrected himself. “You don’t-“

Yuichi laid a finger across Wataru’s lips. “But I do. If I would’ve just-“

Wataru gently removed Yuichi’s finger and smiled up at him. “There’s nothing to forgive.”

Yuichi was not too sure. “Wataru…”

Wataru shook his head. “You remember what you told me? You said, ‘No matter what the truth is, if your feelings are directed at me, then sit up straight and look at me’ (2).”

Chuckling, Yuichi conked their foreheads together. Wataru was definitely too good for him. “Then is that a yes?”

 

* * *

 

**Same Time - Mizuho Residence - United States**

Mizuho stood in the doorway of her Brownstone with her parents besides her. Together, they scanned the dark, silent house. “Yuichi,” she called hopefully.

Silence.

It couldn’t be, she thought. She clutched at her chest as her heart gave a painful jolt. Tears prickled her eyes. She had finally been released from the hospital and had expected to finally be able to spend some time with Yuichi and talk. She had expected to find him here waiting for her. She had not been expecting to return to an empty house.

“Maybe he just ran up to the store?”

Mizuho shook her head as the tears started to flow.

“Maybe he left a note?”

“Yes, something could have come up unexpectedly.”

Oh, something came up alright. She slapped a hand over her mouth as she sobbed quietly. Once again, she had driven her one true love away.

 

* * *

 

**That Night - Japan**

He would have loved for the two of them to be able to walk into the sunset together. What he wanted more than anything was to have his “happily, ever after” with Wataru, but it was far from over. There were still their parents and the small problem of Shohei Kazuki and Masanobu Asaka that had to be dealt with.

Yuichi believed, he had to believe, that both Wataru’s and his parents would more easily accept the true nature of their relationship than Shohei ever could. His big brother only wanted what was best for him. Yuichi understood that. He himself was the same way with Wataru. The problem lay in that Shohei just could not seem to understand that what made Yuichi happy, what was ultimately best for him was to be able to spend the rest of his life with the man curled up next to him.

Shohei feared for him.

He could never introduce Wataru as his girlfriend. They could not stroll casually through the park holding hands. Neither could give the other a child. A legal marriage was out of the question unless they wanted to immigrate to Canada, the States or some other place where marriage between two people of the same sex had been legalized. They could never have a “normal” relationship like Shohei and his wife Kirie.

…Or so that was what Shohei believed.

Yes, there were some sacrifices they both had to live with, but as long as he fell asleep at night and woke up in the morning with Wataru by his side, than he had no regrets and he knew that Wataru felt the same.

No, he could not introduce Wataru as his “girlfriend” for Wataru was all male. Therefore he could introduce Wataru as his boyfriend, his lover, his partner, even as his fiancé. If he cared one lick what society thought of gay couples, he would never have started dating Wataru in the first place. He would not have chosen Wataru over his stupid reputation, or any of the thousands of girls who claimed to be in love with him, or Mizuho and quite possibly even his family. If he wanted to hold Wataru’s hand as they made their way through downtown Tokyo, then he would do so. It was as simple as that. As for children, just because neither of them was a woman or had the ability to bear children, that did not mean they could not have a family someday. Marriage between individuals of the same sex did not have to be legalized for him to promise himself to Wataru till death to they part.

Yuichi felt his heart swell at the thought.

But before all that, there was something more serious that had to be dealt with.

As Yuichi and Wataru lay wrapped in each other’s arms listening to a Blues CD playing softly on the stereo, Yuichi found himself frowning as he fingered the scars crisscrossing Wataru’s wrist. Something was going to have to be done about this. It just could not be ignored. Wataru might just see it as a momentary lapse in judgment but Yuichi knew they would have to sit down and have a serious discussion about this. He might even have to keep a very close eye on Wataru for the foreseeable future.

Yuichi trailed his hand up Wataru’s arm, rounded his shoulder and tickled his neck. He swept a lock of hair off Wataru’s forehead and smiled down at his lover’s peacefully sleeping face.

But that was all right. Time spent with Wataru was not wasted time. Besides, this was nothing that they could not overcome. Just a little fleabite that would soon go away.

“I’m sorry, Mizuho,” he thought, “but I have something that’s even more precious than life itself. He is the one thing I just cannot live without.”

 

**...To Be Continued…**

**(1)** pg. 211, Book 3, The Ring finger Falls Silent  
 **(2)** pg. 120, Book 3, The Ring Finger Falls Silent


	3. Lingering Symptoms of the Affliction

**Chapter 3: Lingering Symptoms of the Affliction**

**A Week Later - Fujii Residence**

Wataru’s large dark eyes could only see the navy blue dashboard with its valleys and mountains that glistened in the bright sunlight that was rare this time of year. It was all his overwhelmed mind could comprehend. His breath was heavy, labored, and sounded unnaturally loud in the silence of the car. His trembling hands were fisted together in his lap to keep them still, but he could feel them shaking against his jean clad legs, an outward manifestation of the inner turmoil within him. Sweat dotted his forehead and upper lip. He licked dry lips.

He was terrified. He would freely admit it. He, Wataru Fujii, was scared to open the car door and walk the short distance to the house.

“Wataru,” the gentle voice whispered to him from the driver’s seat.

This was only the second time he’d been in a car with his boyfriend of a year and a half. The first time had been when the two of them vacationed in Okinawa for three days and two nights of passionate, pleasurable bliss…When they weren’t being hounded by one Shohei Kazuki and Masanobu Asaka. It’d been a great shock then and it still amazed Wataru that Yuichi had his license. Maybe it was the manner in which he learned of it. Of course, Yuichi being older, it should have come as no surprise. For some reason it had, though.

The shock this time was not the renewal of surprise over some fact about his boyfriend that had not been previously known, but over the fact that Yuichi spent good money--money they did not have--on renting the car when they just could have taken public transportation as they normally did.

Instead of curling up in the warmth of each other’s arms and watching a movie or making sweet love or even spending the day out on the town, they fought their way through mid-afternoon traffic, Hell if there ever was one, and now they sat here in front of his parents’ house. Why? Because somewhere along the line a decision had been made. Now it was time to execute said decision.

God! What had they been thinking? He did not know if he could do this. It was too much too soon.

On the way here, Wataru’s emotions had been running rampant like a roller coaster ride. One minute he was sure he was strong enough and had the courage to face his parents and the next, he had to fight the urge to grab the steering wheel and turn the car around himself. As appealing as the idea was of saying “screw it” and returning to Yuichi’s apartment, this was something that had to be done. They both knew this had to be done from the moment they first confessed their love for one another among the hydrangea bushes. He could not back out now that the decision had been made and agreed upon, neither of them could. The longer they delayed, the harder it would become.

Easier said than done.

A bejeweled hand appeared on Wataru’s thigh. It startled him out of his thought. “Kazu-Yuichi,” he corrected himself. He still wasn’t fully used to using his boyfriend’s given name over his family name. Wataru turned dark frightened eyes to the older, taller male besides him.

What he was more scared of, telling his parents that their only son was gay or their inevitable reaction to the news, he was not sure.

Up until now, there had only been a handful of people who knew the truth: that he and Yuichi were more than just kohai and sempai--more than just classmates. There was his sister Karin and his best friend Kawamura. Yuichi’s older brother, his wife Kirie and their daughter along with his cousin Touko and of course Masanobu knew as well.

Because his parents left for work before he and his sister rose in the morning and did not return until late in the evening, oftentimes after they were in bed, Wataru has never had the opportunity to bring up the topic, be it a hypothetical scenario or otherwise. He had a responsibility and an even bigger duty as not only the eldest child but as the only son. He hated to disappoint or hurt his parents anymore than he already has. At the same time, he could not live his life for his parents’ sake just to see them happy. Since this was his life, he was going to live it the way he wanted and what he wanted was to be happy. Yuichi was the one who made him feel that way. He could no longer see his life without Yuichi in it. Ten years from now, he did not want to look back on his life and wonder “what if”.

Yuichi watched the flicker of emotions race across Wataru’s face and felt the war within himself. He squeezed Wataru’s leg and tried his best to smile; reassuring the boy that everything was alright when they both knew damn well that that was not the case. “Are you sure?”

Wataru gave a sharp jerky nod of his head, but said, “Not really” aloud with a nervous laugh. God, how he wanted more than anything to force Yuichi to turn the car around and hide under the thicket of blankets on his bed for the rest of his life. He did not care if that made him a coward.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Yuichi asked for what seemed like the trillionth time even though he already knew the answer.

Wataru wanted more than anything for Yuichi to accompany him, but he knew that if he went in there holding Yuichi’s hand, figuratively or otherwise, it would only make things worse. Just knowing Yuichi was there for him, supporting him through this, helped to ease the fright that was surging through him. He knew it was not going to be easy for his parents to learn that he was gay. It could not be easy for any parent to hear no matter how open-minded they were. Having it shoved, quite literally, in their faces by having Yuichi right there was probably not a very smart move.

He smiled at Yuichi and gave the hand on his thigh a squeeze. “Thanks, but…” He shook his head.

When had his feelings shifted? Wataru was not sure. No matter how long he pondered the question, Wataru was unable to come up with an answer. He used to watch Yuichi from afar and would long to see that kind smile that he showed to others so easily directed towards him. Instead, what he got were those hurtful words, that condescending sneer that troubled his heart. Then there was the pain that gripped his heart whenever he thought of that false rumor that still hadn’t died about Yuichi and Karin. Now here he was, Yuichi‘s, now and forever.

Wataru gazed down at the left hand splayed on his thigh. The band glistened in the sunlight.

Their affair was still strange and sometimes he still was a little uncomfortable about the whole situation, but at the same time, it felt so right.

Even though the two of them could not legally marry here in Japan, though Yuichi has said--quite seriously--that he’d go into politics and change that, they were now engaged and would have a commitment ceremony and eventually would start a family, maybe even get a dog or two. Yuichi went so far as to say that if things didn’t change in Japan, they could always immigrate somewhere marriage equality laws had been passed. It would be a very difficult choice if it came to that--leaving everyone and everything that they knew behind for a strange foreign land. However, if it came to that, what other choice did they have?

At first, what the two of them wanted was to garner Shohei’s blessing before they took the next step, but with the way things were going, it looked as if their relationship was forever going to remain in limbo. Why? Who knows? The only excuse Yuichi’s big brother could come up with for his oppositions was because Wataru was male. What kind of lame ass reason was that? It was like asking someone “why” and getting “because I said so” as an answer. That’s no answer. What that is, is an excuse and an excuse is not a reason let alone an answer.

So no more.

They were tired of hiding, of lying, of pretending they were something they were not. Enough of that game of pretend. Now it was time to stop lying and grow up.

His mind finally made up, Wataru took a shaky breath, steeled himself and grabbed the door handle.

“Good luck,” Yuichi said as Wataru stepped out onto the sidewalk.

Wataru glanced over his shoulder and smiled. “Thanks.”

“I love you,” Yuichi called after him.

“Me, too. I love you, Yuichi,” Wataru returned through the car window.

Yuichi watched nervously as Wataru strolled up the walk to the house, pausing momentarily before vanishing inside the front door.

Taking a deep breath, Yuichi shifted the car out of park and pulling into traffic, headed towards his own parents’ house.

 

* * *

 

**Kazuki Residence**

At first, Yuichi thought he parents had gone out somewhere for the house was so quiet when he stepped into the foyer. It was always a crapshoot whether or not they would be home. His parents may be retired, but they had a million and one hobbies, or so it seemed. They were home less now than they were before they retired.

Taking off his hat, gloves and scarf and stuffing them into his coat, he exchanged his sneakers for his slippers and hung up his coat in the closet.

He checked his cellphone. No message from Wataru yet. Was that good or bad?

“Ma? Dad? Hello?” he called stepping up into the house.

“Yuichi?”

“Yeah, Ma.”

“Oh!” His mother came into view and pulled him into a hug. “You’re home!” She pulled away, but kept him within her grasp. It was almost as if she refused to let him go. “Let me look at you.”

Yuichi rolled his eyes.

Her eyes narrowed. “Have you lost weight? Have you been eating properly?”

“Ma!” Yuichi rolled his eyes.

“Don’t give me that. C’mon. I’ll make you a sandwich.”

“Ma, I’m fine. Really. I just ate.”

She wasn’t listening. Yuichi just sighed as he let his mother steer him through the house and into the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

“So, Yuichi, how is Mizuho?” his mother inquired as she set a sandwich down before him.

Yuichi tensed.

Mrs. Kazuki took a seat opposite him. “How did her surgery go?”

“Fine. There was some sort of complication, but apparently they’d foreseen that.” He shrugged as he took a bite of his sandwich. It tasted like sand. “Basically everything went as planned.” Truthfully, he had not even thought about her since he fled the States several days prior. Wataru had been, and still was, the prime objective. He’d gone to be with Mizuho during her surgery with the prodding of Wataru, but while he’d not been able to speak to her properly like he’d wanted to, he had carried out another one of the reasons why he’d been unable to be in Tokyo to support Wataru during his exams.

“Complication?” Horror splashed across his mother’s face. “What happened?”

“Not sure,” Yuichi admitted truthfully. They tried to explain it to him, but medical gorgon was Greek to him no matter how you try to “civilian” it up.

“But she’s okay?”

“Yeah, Ma. She’ll be fine.”

“Oh, good.” His mother breathed a sigh of relief.

Yuichi was not sure what to think when it came to Mizuho. Somehow, she’d been embroiled into this mess by his brother just like Masanobu Asaka.

Masanobu may have been pulled into this in the beginning innocently enough all because he was in love with someone who will never be able to love him back, but love can make people do things they would never normally do otherwise. He should know.

Someone as diabolical as his brother would know the right buttons to push in order to get someone as soft and kindhearted as Mizuho to pull something as childish as stealing his ring in order to make him fall back in love with her.

Anyone with half a brain in their head would know that you cannot help who you fall in love with and you cannot force yourself to love someone. You either do or you do not.

In that regard, Yuichi could not blame either Mizuho or Masanobu. It all came down to love in the end, didn’t it? However, that didn’t mean that he condoned their actions either.

So then, what was Shohei’s reasoning? That Wataru was a guy? That Yuichi was precious to him? What was that supposed to mean exactly? Was it just the insistent ramblings of an over-protective elder brother or something else entirely?

“-chi. Yuichi?”

His mother’s voice brought him out of his musings. “Huh?”

“Are you okay? You didn’t touch your sandwich.”

Yuichi gazed down at his plate. “Oh.” He’d forgotten about it frankly.

“You worried about Mizuho?”

“No,” Yuichi quickly denied.

“Then-?”

“Actually,” he interrupted, “is Dad home? There’s something I need to talk to you guys about.”

“About Mizuho?”

Yuichi shook his head. Why was she so fixated on Mizuho for? “About me--and Wataru.”

Mrs. Kazuki drew her brows in confusion. “Fujii-kun? What-?”

Here it comes, Yuichi thought closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He steeled himself. Opening his eyes, Yuichi stared across the table at the woman who gave him life.

Silence stretched between them.

Yuichi watched the emotions and thoughts chase themselves across her face. He wished he knew what she was thinking. Then again, maybe not. They say ignorance is bliss for a reason.

When he saw the color drain from her face, that was when he knew she guessed the truth.

 

* * *

 

**That Night - Yuichi Kazuki Residence**

To say his little talk with his parents had been a disaster would be an understatement.

Shohei had and still has, this almost laid back, nonchalant air about him. It made other people think that he had no ambition, no cares, but in fact, Shohei Kazuki was one of the most emulous people Yuichi knew. Moreover, it was because of this careless aura Shohei gave off like a pheromone that their parents eventually decided to put their hopes onto Yuichi. Therefore, because his parents had all these expectations for him, he had learned to smile and nod and just go along with whatever his parents wanted. Even if it went against what he wanted. They had always counted on him and he had allowed them that because he had no reason not to. Until now.

Now he had Wataru Fujii to have and to hold for better or worse until death do they part. It did not matter if his parents, his brother, the world or even God himself were against their relationship and thought their love was a blunder, an error, an aberration or even the gravest of sins. It did not matter. He just did not care. Wataru belonged to him and he to Wataru. If it meant he would spend the rest of his afterlife in the deepest depths of Hell, then so be it, for there was no way he was ever going to give Wataru up, not now not ever, not for his brother, not for his parents, not for Toko and certainly nor for God or Buddha.

That was exactly what he told his parents. It was the first time he stood up for himself, the first time he spoke back to his parents. You were supposed to respect your elders. It was ingrained into all Asians--that and honor and duty. They came before anything else. But even the most well trained obedient dog will attack when cornered. There was no way he wad going to give up the one thing, the one person that made him happy, that made his life worth living in order to fulfill his parents’ selfish desires for him. This was his life, his future. If being with Wataru was a mistake then it was his mistake to make.

_“Either accept me as I am or not at all.”_

Ask and you shall receive.

_“I did not come here seeking your permission. I love Wataru and I will be with him whether we have your blessing or not.”_

To say that he may not be welcome in his parents’ house--his childhood home--for the foreseeable future was certainly no lie.

It wasn’t just him who’d had an experience and a half, to say the least, with his parents.

He gazed down at Wataru sleeping peacefully curled up besides him with his head in his lap. A smile graced Yuichi’s face. Cute, he thought. Almost like an angel. Of course, if Wataru ever heard him call him that, he’d turn lobster red and stutter in embarrassment, which would just make him that much more appealing. He chuckled lightly as he stroked Wataru’s soft, dark hair, a gesture that comforted them both.

His smile faltered as he took in the tear tracks down Wataru’s cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

He wouldn’t apologize for loving Wataru because he wasn’t sorry. He’d never regret falling in love with his now fiancé. Not even if something were to happen and they broke up. He was sorry that he was putting Wataru in such a difficult position with his parents. He wished more than anything that he could have saved Wataru the pain and trauma.

Yuichi laid a gentle kiss on Wataru’s temple. He tasted like salt.

Pulling away, he leaned back against the headboard. Tipping his head back, he stared up at the ceiling with a sigh.

The reason for renting the Toyota had been so that he could take Wataru away for a few days. The boy definitely needed and deserved the break after the hectic couple of months he’d been forced to endure. Now that exams were over with, classes from now until graduation in March were mandatory. So he wouldn’t be missing any classes. Yuichi had meant for them to leave in the morning, but after finding an overtly distraught Wataru at his parents’ doorstep after he’d been all but tossed out, Yuichi had decided to move up his plans.

“There’s one good thing that came out of this whole fiasco,” Yuichi told the sleeping boy. “At least you got their permission to move in with me.”

In answer, Wataru mumbled something under his breath and curled in tighter around Yuichi.

Smiling, Yuichi closed his eyes and let sleep pull him under.

 

**...To Be Continued…**


	4. Memories of the Affliction

**Chapter 4: Memories of the Affliction**

**March – Ryokuyo High School Graduation Ceremony**

She brought her hand back with a screech. Anger. Betrayal. Humiliation. It all swirled within her bitterly. How dare he? How dare he? How dare he?

The first time, she decided to draw back and bid her time. Patiently waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. After all, her affections had only been turned down. It was not as if she had been outright rejected. Therefore, naturally, she assumed she still had a chance. Slim it might have been, but as long as there was even a hundredth of a percent in her favor, there was no way she would give up.

She never thought it would happen, but it arrived in the form of the annual Ryokuyo High fest. Their class was to put on an auction and not just any ordinary auction, but one in which items of present as well as past popular students were to be sold to the highest bidder. This was it! It was a sign from God. It had to be! It was now or never. After some wheeling and dealing, whiling and whittling, her plan was set in motion. Her one true love would indeed appear at the auction.

She could just picture it in her head. Like she did the year before, she would draw Kazuki aside and confess. It would work this time! She was sure of it. There was no question about it. She would tell him how very much in love with him she was. He would see how genuine her feelings were. He would move his lips sweetly and call her name with that voice dripping with honey. He would then draw her into his arms and they would exchange their first kiss. The first of many. It would be filled with enough heat and passion to melt the glaciers. She could feel herself blushing hotly even now as she drew upon that fantasy.

Of course, it had not gone at all as she had planned. First off, he planned to bring his supposed girlfriend. That treasonous little hussy had to be taken care of. With the girlfriend out of the picture, she--Mai Tachibana--would be free to move ahead with her plan. The fact that Kazuki was involved with someone meant nothing. That little whore had nothing on her. If that girl was anything like her brother, then there was nothing to worry about. That little bitch would be easily taken care of.

Oh, how wrong she had been. On many counts.

The last thing she wanted was to make Kazuki angry with her, but that was exactly what she did. All she wanted was for him to love her. Was that so wrong?

She knew then that she would never again have a chance at her first and only love. This time, she had been clearly rejected. Not so much by what he said, but by the expression on his face as he spoke about his lover, the one he claimed was most dear to him. It was a look of someone who had found “the one”. It pained her to witness such reverence. She had never felt such an aching before, but it was obvious that as far as her affections for Kazuki were concerned, she never stood a ghost of a chance, not now, not ever.

And that was that.

…Or so she thought. As difficult as it was to give up on Kazuki and move on, that was exactly what she did. Spring eventually rolled around as did graduation.

As the ceremony ended, a low murmuring started through the crowd. At first, she ignored it. Her parents had caved in and were throwing her an elaborate graduation party and from the hints they have been dropping, she might even get a very special present--the four-wheeled kind. Then she heard it: Kazuki.

In that instant, all the struggling to move on with her life had been for naught as those feelings she had held for her sempai for so long all rushed back to her. Her heart started racing. She could not draw a breath.

…But then…

Whatever small hope had been born within her when she realized that Kazuki had shown up at the ceremony shattered. Just like it did in each and every girl in the district that day as she witnessed the most sacrilegious event in her young short life.

That was when it all fell into place--all those little pieces, all those “coincidences” started adding up.

 _“It’s someone people would find difficult to accept.”_ (1)

It all made sense, why Kazuki refused the advances of every girl who approached him, why eventually he even stopped accepting gifts on the spot…why their rings “just happened” to match…

Her world crumbled.

Blind with rage, she approached her now former classmate. She was not even aware of what she did until after the deed was finished with and her hand was red and throbbing. Before she could stop herself, everything that had been bottled up inside her spewed forth.

Knowing what she knew now just made her past attempts seem that much more pathetic and sad. They both must have been secretly laughing at her futile attempts behind her back. That thought enraged her.

“How dare you! Pervert!”

His cheek stinging, Wataru stared in shock at his best friend’s former crush.

“Mai!?”

“Tachibana!”

A chorus of voices just as stunned as Wataru cried out around her, but she ignored them all.

“You knew how much I was in love with him! For so long, I’ve loved him. And yet you…! Yet you…! How could you? How could you steal him away for yourself? Do you have any idea how it feels to have your heart crushed? Your hope shattered? To pine for someone who regards you as nothing more than dirt beneath their feet? And yet here you come and do what nobody else could like it was nothing! Do you have no shame? How Kazuki could choose someone like you over me is beyond me…No. There’s no way someone like Kazuki would fall in love with a boy…Yes. That’s right. I bet you seduced him. Or maybe…Yeah. I bet it’s nothing more than a misstep. A temporary experimentation that I’m sure he’ll grow out of.”

“-what an arrogant, egotistical, selfish thing to say.”

“K-Kazuki?”

Now it was her turn to be stunned.

Yuichi stepped forward, blocking any further attempt by Mai to get at Wataru. The honor student, “good boy” reputation he had strived to build throughout his whole school career would be ruined after this, but he had had enough of being arbitrarily messed with. He was sick and tired of pretending to be someone he was not. He refused to move to the beat of different drummers.

“Yuichi.”

Yuichi threw a look over his shoulder.

Wataru swallowed the words he was about to say nervously. This was something they’d discussed, but discussing something and executing it were two completely different things.

“If anyone should be ashamed it should be you, Tachibana. You have no right to speak to Wataru like that. It was disrespectful. How dare you?”

The color drained from her face. Never had anyone spoken to her like this. Never.

A crowd had gathered around them. Their glances being tossed back and forth as if they were at a tennis match. This was the most excitement they’ve seen in quite some time.

“My private life is just that and it certainly is no concern of yours or anyone else. I am free to love whomever I choose, including Wataru.”

“B-but Kazuki-”

Yuichi glanced over his shoulder and smiled that gentle smile that had Wataru’s pulse racing and a blush coloring his cheeks.

“I told you didn’t I Tachibana? That as long as I have that person I can go on living.”

She peeled her gaze away from Kazuki to Fujii. But why? Why him and not her? Was she not good enough? Did she come across as too brash? Was she not demure enough? What? What was it? There had to be something. Why else would he choose him and not her? It made no sense.

She’d seen Fujii’s sister and they definitely could be twins. His sister was the female version of him. So--she couldn’t believe she was even thinking this--why had Kazuki not chosen the sister instead of Fujii?

As if he could read her mind, Yuichi turned back to her. “Tachibana. I will tell you now just as I‘ve told you before. I can never feel for you what you feel for me and frankly, giving the way you acted today, I’m glad that I don’t.”

Shocked gasps followed by a tidal wave of whispers rippled around them, but Yuichi paid them no heed. He’d promised Wataru two years ago that he would no longer be nice to the female population at Ryokuyo, but even though he’d stopped accepting letters and gifts on the spot, he really had continued with his “good boy”, honor student reputation. No more. Wataru and he’d decided some months ago to free themselves from all the lies surrounding them and this was just another step to achieving that goal.

“But…Why?” Mai’s voice came out just barely above a whisper. She had to know. Why Fujii and not her? Why a boy of all people? Why? It made no sense! “Why?”

“Why?” Yuichi repeated.

“Why him?” Mai spit. She glared venomously at her dark-eyed, dark-haired ex-classmate.

“That’s easy.”

“Huh?”

“I love him.”

Being told something like that so bluntly threw Mai. She stuttered, unable to bring forth the contingent of scattered phrases that flew into and out of her mind. The world tilted and spun around her, leaving her feeling dizzy and lightheaded. Her vision narrowed until she was gazing at her sempai down a long tunnel. She felt faint.

Him and not her. Why? It still made no sense. What did he have that she did not? She was sure that with Fujii out of the picture, Kazuki would fall for her. Without a roadblock, traffic could continue uninterrupted, right?

“Tachibana.”

Oh! That voice! How she loved it!

“Some things--are not about you.”

Mai felt the words like a crushing blow. The first rears welled up.

“Just like you couldn’t return Kawasaki-“

“Kawamura, Yuichi,” Wataru snapped. “He’s my best friend. Get it right already.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Whatever,” Yuichi rolled his eyes.

Hearing the retort between the two of them was the final blow. She clenched a fist to her chest.

“Like you couldn’t return Kawamura’s feelings, I cannot return yours.”

Her vision, which had started to clear, blurred behind the heavy veil of tears that spilled down her face.

“You should know more than anyone that love is the least prejudicial person in the world. You can’t help who you fall in love with.”

Each word struck a cord within her.

“Right?” Yuichi could see it on her face. Mai was starting to understand. Taking a step backwards, he reached out blindly and clasped Wataru’s hand. His fiancé was trembling and felt cool despite the unnaturally warm day. He caught Wataru’s gaze and smiled.

Wataru caught his breath at the sight. Cheater, he thought.

Yuichi gave the smaller hand within his a reassuring squeeze. “I didn’t set out to fall in love with Wataru and it definitely was not easy to come to terms with the fact that I’d fallen in love with a--younger--man.”

Even two years after the fact.

“Yuichi,” Wataru whispered. A slow grin transformed his face.

Clearing his throat, Yuichi turned away from the glorious sight.

Wataru chuckled lightly. It seemed his smile still charmed his boyfriend. Good to know.

“It hasn’t been as easy road,” Yuichi confessed once he’d gotten hold of himself. “But I wouldn’t change it for anything.”

Mai chocked back her sobs.

“I’m sorry Mai.”

As the tears continued to fall, Mai watched as Kazuki gave her one last smile and turned away from her. She reached out. She opened her mouth to speak, to say anything that would keep Kazuki from walking away and keep him at her side, but then her tear filled gaze caught sight of his hand holding Wataru’s, their fingers threaded together. As she continued to watch, Yuichi turned to gaze at Wataru and the look of absolute, unquestionable devotion had her on her knees with a heart-wrenching wail.

“Mai!”

A chorus of cries called out to her. Sympathetic tears and comforting hands.

“How dare he?”

“How rude!”

“How can Kazuki do such a horrid thing?”

Angry retorts caught her ear.

“Enough,” she commanded to the gaggle of girls surrounding her.

“What? But Mai-!”

Mai merely shook her head. Enough was enough. No more. Scrubbing at her wet face, Mai struggled to her feet. Yuichi and Wataru were gone she noticed.

“Mai?”

She smiled at her oldest and closest friend. Her smile wavered around the edges and had an artificial feel to it, but eventually it’d be real. So this is what a broken heart feels like, she thought. It was not a feeling she particularly cared for. But maybe she’d finally be able to move on.

 

* * *

 

**The Next Day**

“Thank you. Come again.”

“Have a nice day now.”

The old couple who ran the small teashop located off the beaten path called pleasantries after them.

“Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Wataru echoed his boyfriend of two years with a bow.

“Such nice boys,” the woman commented to her husband.

“Uhm hm,” he agreed.

Once out of the shop, Yuichi clasped Wataru’s hand firmly, startling Wataru.

“Ka-Yuichi?” He still wasn’t entirely use to using his boyfriend’s given name. It was somewhat strange.

“Hm?” Yuichi turned a smiling face to Wataru.

Wataru faltered in the face of that expression. “N--no, well…” He sighed. “Never mind.”

Yuichi’s smile widened into a grin. “Sure?”

Not trusting himself enough to speak, Wataru nodded.

“Okay.” With a self-satisfied expression on his face, Yuichi turned from his flustered fiancé.

The main road was not that far from the little shop and it was always at that point where the two of them dropped each other’s hand, but not this time. Yuichi had no desire to do such an officious thing. He was never going to let Wataru go. Never again. That meant that Wataru had to fight through his embarrassment.

His smile wavered. His step faltered. Tension rippled though him.

Wataru halted besides Yuichi. “What-?” He took in the strained expression, the hard look of his eyes, the set jaw and pursed lips.

“C’mon.”

“Huh? Yuichi? What-?”

Yuichi tugged on Wataru’s hand and pulled him along behind him none-too-gently.

“What? Not even a, ‘Hello Brother’?”

Yuichi’s grip on his hand tightened only a fraction at the sound of the familiarly sly voice. It was the only indication he gave that said he knew the newcomer was there.

Wataru turned towards the sound of the voice. “Sh-Shohei!”

“Hello, Fujii. Congratulations. I hear you got into M-U.”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Wataru stuttered.

“Let’s go,” Yuichi repeated, yanking Wataru along.

“Wah!” Wataru stumbled after Yuichi.

Shohei watched the two of them stroll off with an expression that could be called something akin to sorrow. “I heard about your-- _visit_ , Yuichi,” he called after his younger brother.

Wataru glanced at the back of Yuichi’s head when the grip around his hand tightened to the point that it actually hurt.

Yuichi refused to acknowledge his brother. He wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. When it came to Shohei, Wataru claimed he acted just like a little kid. So no more. He got what he wanted out of life. A nice apartment, a good job, good friends and Wataru. What else was there? More than anything, he wished to have the blessings of his parents and his big brother, but he didn’t need them in order to live a happy life with Wataru.

The first signs of tension entered Shohei’s expression.

They were mere feet from the street when Yuichi’s stride paused.

“Yu-?”

“Your life must be so pathetically dull.”

“What-? Yuichi?” Wataru had never heard Yuichi speak like that. Especially not to Shohei. “What are you doing?” His whispered words seemed to have no affect on his boyfriend.

Shohei cocked an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Or it is you have so much spare time on your hands that you have to keep yourself occupied by interfering into things that don’t concern you?”

“Yuichi. You are my little brother and are dear to me. All I want is for you to be happy.”

“I _am_ happy, big brother. Wataru makes me happy. If you’d get over yourself long enough, you’d be able to see that.” Yuichi turned sideways and glared at Shohei out of the corner of his narrowed eyes. “Which leads me to believe that isn’t what this is about.”

“It isn’t?”

“No. It’s not.”

“Alright then. What is this about then? Pray tell.”

“You said it yourself, Shohei. Wataru makes me a better person.”

Shohei inclined his head. That was all too true.

“And you hate that.”

Wataru’s eyes grew wide.

“Do I?”

“You hate that it’s Wataru, because me being with him means that all of Mom and Dad’s expectations and hopes and dreams for me were for naught.”

“Which is why-“

“You’re jealous,” Yuichi interrupted.

Shohei went still.

Wataru glanced from Yuichi to Shohei. Jealous? What was he talking about?

“Otherwise, what’s the point of all this?’ Yuichi waited for a reply, a retort, a scoff; anything, but only silence stretched around them. “Take care of yourself, Shohei. Come on, Wataru,” he said, “we’ve got a meeting with the florist.”

Unable to say anything, Shohei watched his baby brother and his brother’s lover vanish into the crowded street.

He knew he was not wrong. Whether that boy made Yuichi much more of a man or not was not the issue. The problem with Yuichi being with that boy was because Wataru was a boy. It would cause Yuichi’s life to be that much more arduous and Shohei would give anything to stop that from happening. As the oldest, it was his job to protect his younger sibling, even at the cost of his relationship with him.

**…The End**

**(1)** Book 3 page 262


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